I remember with torn emotions those times when 'Hey sexy!' were two of my favorite words in combination. I loved hearing them. My goal was to here them. And now, as they're whistled on some unnamed street in Steubenville getting out of my car from work, they make me cringe.
I thought about those men all night and I prayed for them and I started thinking about why this seemingly casual comment sat with me for such a long time.
Then it hit me. I don't want to be sexy. That's why this comment bothered me so much.
Alright now, pick your jaws up off the floor and listen to my rationale.
I was looking up the definition of sexy and I found that it means having the qualities and attributes of sex. So basically, in a rough translation of the phrase, when someone says 'Hey, sexy!' it really implies 'Hey, you look like sex'.
Sex is not a bad thing. Sex is beautiful. It is fruitful. It is a whole gift of self that people wait years and years to give to one person. But when a man looks at me, I don't want him to automatically jump to sex. I don't want to be someone's sex object. I want him to see me as more than that. Society has turned sex into a casual, meaningless activity. I don't want to be casual and meaningless. When a man looks at me, I want him to see someone special. Someone worth respecting. Someone who has a worth deeper than her physical appearance.
Now- I'm not saying that we should all walk around in shapeless potato sacks that make people question whether or not we are human. I'm actually saying quite the opposite. The way that we dress should be a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. Our bodies are a beautiful thing! If we walk around in clothing that hides our bodies, it communicates the message that we are ashamed of our little temple. It communicates that we're trying to hide something bad and ugly. When we chose our clothing, we should ask ourselves how others will see us in the outfit. If you saw someone else wearing the same thing, would you think they looked sexy? What would your first impression of that person be?
Ladies, let's respect ourselves. What your mama gave you is not bad- it just doesn't need to be on display for the entire world to view and judge. Your beauty lies in something that won't fade. Your looks, you body, your makeup will all fade away at some point (except for Julie Andrews. She will always be flawless). As a woman, I know that clothing is difficult. It's too loose, too tight, to short, too long, too itchy, too much polyblend, and it'll create trouble spots out of thin (haha) air. When you go shopping, maybe take your dad or your brother or a man that you greatly respect who you know is rooted in respecting women. Ask them what they think. They'll love it AND you'll get to spend quality time with them. Boom.
Gentlemen, have you ever heard of the Golden Rule? Treat others the way you would like to be treated? When you take 4.5 seconds to put some effort into your appearance, it suggests to us that you will treat others, especially women, with respect. If you can't respect yourself, you can't respect others. I'm not an aficionado on mens clothing but I think that shopping for you would be the same for women. Bring us with you. Let us love you.
So that bring me to a close on my sexy war. I don't want to be sexy. I want to be smart, funny, talented, eccentric, interesting, and beautiful. I want someone to look at me an say wow- there is so much more there than a short polycotton stretch skirt with a shirt that highlights good genes and a well endowed top. Maybe not in those exact words but I think my point is pretty clear. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. The less you worry about being sexy and the more you focus on being the woman you were called to be, the happier you will be with your life and with yourself. You'll be content with simplicity. <3
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